Day 500

 500 Days celibate and I am Proud, Happy, Grateful,Blessed, Anxious, Grieving, Faithful, Fearful, Blue balls, Control, Powerful, Sober, Growing, Working, and Brave. 

 I feel all of those things and maybe some more. 500 days of no sex, no entertaining temporary spirits, no situationships, no being lovebombed, putting me first, worrying about me, focused on me, being intentional, being mindful, and protecting my energy. The longest ive went without giving in to temptation and controlling my sexual spirit. 

 My re-re-re grand closing has been a tough one. I thought the last journey was going to be the longest. I thought I was ready for the last stituationship. I never thought i’d have to start another celibacy tour, but I did. I did it for me and to figure out why I keep running into dead ends. Sometimes a timeout will help you figure some stuff out. 

 Time really helped me understand what it is I wanted from life. Not only in my dating life but in my life as well. It hasn't been a smooth ride this journey. I’ve cried more than I laughed, second guessed myself, isolated my feelings, and struggled with regret. But I got through it. Kept going and growing while blocking those head monsters with vegan in their bookbag.

 It was hard but I said alot of no’s within these 500 days with no regrets. One thing I appreciate about this celibacy journey is being able to fight through my temptations and saying NO. No matter how good the Yes may have looked, sounded, or what they promised; I fought through it. I said no and kept my good cat with superb tricks to myself. 

 A few almost/close calls but im sooooooooo glad i never crossed the line. I didn't waste my time or energy in places that were probably not good for me. Day 500 and still going. My goal is to stay on this journey until Black Jesus gives me what i truly want, what my heart deserves, and nothing temporary.